How To Prevent Cycling Accidents

It's a worry, isn't it?
We hear, every day, of cyclists being involved in accidents of one sort or another on our roads and, indeed, our footpaths.
For years, people have been trying to figure out how to solve this problem.
Well, I had a eureka! moment.
All of a sudden, the solution came to me.
And it's this.
WHY DON'T THEY LEAVE THEIR BIKES AT HOME AND GET THE BUS?
Simple, really.
If there are no cyclists out there, there will be no cyclists to knock down.
From a motorists point of view, there will be no cyclists to be knocked down.
I am referring, specifically, to those who completely ignore red lights.
I am referring, largley, to those who think that cycling and listening to music is a good idea.
I am referring, generally, to those who seem to believe that cycling on the footpath is their right.
I counted today. Fourteen times in less than half an hour cyclists sped past in front of me.
I tell a lie. Two of them almost sped into me. And it was THEY who gave ME daggers.
In that half an hour, I also spotted three cyclists riding merrily along footpaths.
Three quarters of all those I saw had earphones presumably blocking out all sound of other traffic, people roaring, car horns, police sirens and what not.
I saw one bicycle abandoned outside a shop in such a way as to present a hazard to all and sunday entering or leaving the premises.
As for cyclists at night, wearing dark clothing and carrying no illumination whatsoever, I don't have time or space to go there.
Anyway, I think my solution would solve the problem of cyclists and accidents.
It would also support public transport.
And it would mean the country's motorists and pedestrians were a lot less nervous as they went about their business.
And it would mean our 'Green' Ministers would have to think of some other wheeze for their next photoshoot.
Anyone fancy seeing them strapped to a windmill?

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No Real ads from the Real IRA

I have noticed, around my neighbourhood, a few notices stuck on lamposts urging one and all to join the 32 County Sovereignty Movement.
Snappy name, that.
Anyway, it's a kind of mundane ad for a terrorist organisation. Dull. Unexciting.
And, frankly, not at all getting their point across.
I mean, what they do is support the Real IRA in every way they can.
So, really, shouldn't their ad look a bit more like this?

*********************

DO YOU WANT TO KILL PEOPLE?
FANCY MURDERING SOMEONE – AT NO RISK TO YOURSELF?

We will show you how to:

Plant bombs, run away, and set them off by remote control.
Chuck pipe bombs through the windows of houses
Fire guns from a safe distance – safe for you, that is!
Join gangs armed with baseball bats to attack individuals (no crowds, they might fight back!)
Ruin lives
Set Ireland back 100 years and
Allow you to tell your children you’re a killer.

SO. ARE YOU THICK?
ARE YOU UNCIVILISED?
ARE YOU COMPLETELY BRAINLESS?

Well, you’re our man.

Women are more or less welcome too as long as they're a bit of fun an, you know, willing.

So get a move on.

After all, it IS the year 1162

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